


I'm with you

by kumo_is_kumo



Category: SHINee
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-30
Updated: 2017-02-02
Packaged: 2018-08-11 23:45:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 14,496
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7912195
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kumo_is_kumo/pseuds/kumo_is_kumo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kibum has never thought that his life will be turned over like this, by the young Prince that this country still has. But this is what’s exactly happening and he doesn’t even know how to escape from that.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. 001

**Author's Note:**

> Also posted under Asianfanfics: https://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/1154586/

 

Kibum has never thought that his life will be turned over like this, by a young Prince that this country still has. Yes, this is a story about a Prince in a modern time.

 

 

 

 

 

 

A boy is panting tiredly, but a smile is visible on his lips. He is enjoying this. When he hears the sounds of footsteps are getting clearer, getting closer towards him, he hides deeper between the walls and manages to escape from the people who are looking for him. He chuckles when he slips out from his hiding place. His big puppy eyes slowly widen in excitement when he sees an old building at the other side from where he is standing. Skipping happily there, he makes sure that no one sees him.

He pushes the door open and hums when he finds out that it is an old library. This school sure has pretty buildings all over the place. This is an old library, means that it isn’t used again, right? But then, why does he hear faint sounds coming from the deeper corner of the library?

He slowly walks there, curiosity taking over him. He can see how old books are still sitting there on the dusty shelves. Various old books are drawing his curiosity and he makes sure to check on them later before going out from here. Back to the first thing. He walks slowly, pass through some shelves and he clearly can hear that the sounds are coming from this direction.

But what is it? Or even... who?

Stepping out from behind the current shelf which is covering him by now, he gaps at the sight of a boy around his age, who is sitting on a wooden chair by himself, reading one of the old books. The said boy lifts his head up from the book when he hears someone is coming.

“Who are you?” The boy asks, the book still clutched tightly against his chest. The first boy gaps, not knowing how to answer since he is still amazed that there is someone inside this old building.

“W-What are you doing... here? Alone?”

“I ask you first,” the other boy says in defense even though his voice is soft, “and what is wrong with reading books here?”

The first boy gulps down his saliva before clearing his throat to break the awkward atmosphere.

“I-I’m Jonghyun. Who are you? And what are you doing here?”

The other boy nods in respect at his answer.

“My name’s Kibum. And I like reading here even before you come here.”

The boy—Jonghyun—slowly nods his head at the answer before deciding to take a seat on the dusty chair across the other boy--Kibum.

“Oh, well. Umm, what I mean is... what are you doing reading here all alone by yourself in this... old building?”

The boy shrugs, still with the same expression on his face ever since Jonghyun appears in front of him.

“Here is nice. And silent.” He answers nonchalantly and Jonghyun frowns at the sound of that. How dare this boy talks this comfortable with him? Doesn’t he know who Jonghyun is? Jonghyun is the second Prince of this country! Well, maybe he is not that famous since he has just come back from America, but, still...

“Do you know who I am?” Jonghyun tries his luck. The Kibum boy stares at him with those blank eyes before answering, “You said your name is Jonghyun.”

Jonghyun takes a deep breath before cracking a quick smile to cover his emotion.

“What I mean is... me? The real me?”

Kibum frowns but the frown is not clearly seen on his face. “I’m sorry but I don’t understand what you mean with that.”

Jonghyun freezes and has a sudden urge to face-palm himself. Okay, so basically this boy doesn’t know who he is. But, hey, isn’t that good so this boy won’t be able to tell everyone that he is here?

“Well, forget it. So, what are you reading?”

“Random.”

Seriously. Doesn’t this boy have another expression rather than looking blank all the time? There must be something wrong with his facial expression. He can’t be having that same blank face all the time, right?

 

 

 

 

***

 

 

 

 

His name is Kim Kibum. He is on his first grade in this prestigious school. This is a special school for people with noble blood. Random people aren’t allowed to be here.

Noble and aristocratic are the only ones allowed here. And Kibum is one of them.

He is silent. He avoids having too much conversation with people. He doesn’t want to make a proper relationship with too much people. He prefers to be alone. Not like he wants to be alone but he is always alone.

He has some problem with the way he is expressing his feelings. The problem is:

He gets no presence.

Because he gets no presence, people ignore him. More precisely, people don’t realize him.

It's like he is just a shadow.

He is not expecting too much. As long as he is enjoying his current situation then it is fine with him. It has happened for a very long time that Kibum already forgets when the first time he is being treated this way. Maybe since he was born? Or maybe since his parents passed away?

Yes, Kibum’s parents had passed away already. There was one time when his noble parents were out in some business meeting and the plane ended up crashing down into the ocean. Kibum was a crying mess at that time. He feels like that was the first time he could express his feeling freely. But, that was so sad.

Kibum only remembers his mother’s words.

_“Kibummie, you have to keep helping people, okay? So—”_

And he can only remember that first part of that sentence. What is the last part? What is the continuation of that ‘so’?

 

 

 

Kibum wants to express his feeling freely. But he can’t.

 

 

 

 

***

 

 

 

 

“Hey, lend me your book,” Jonghyun says while closing the current book he has just finished reading. Kibum lifts his gaze from his reading and grabs the said book from the table beside him to give it to the other boy. Jonghyun happily accepts it and begins reading the said book.

It has been a whole week since Jonghyun has discovered this old library and the mysterious boy. This old library has become his favorite place to hang out and he enjoys the silence presence of the other boy. He thanks the boy who still hasn’t known who he is. He clearly needs and enjoys being treated as a normal person, not as the second Prince who has dozens of people kissing the path he walks.

They often chat simply. Like asking ‘how are you today’ or ‘what book is that’ and so on. Kibum ignores the boy most of the times but answers to all the questions Jonghyun throws to him.

Deeply, he enjoys this moment as well, because it has been so long since the last time he speaks this much to someone. But still, he won’t make any relation with him. Being alone is better, you won't feel pain and you certainly will not get hurt.

Relationship is like a poison. Venom.

It hurts people so bad.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Jonghyun steals a glance at the boy across him who is reading the book with blank face. For a week they have been hanging out together like this, he has never seen any different expression from Kibum. Maybe he is just being shy with him? Or maybe he is too intimidating that Kibum can’t speak out his mind?

His gaze travels from the boy’s face and focuses more on his eyes. Those feline-like eyes, they are so pretty. Jonghyun has never seen someone with those kinds of eyes, might it be in Seoul or America. Then, his button-like nose... before his gaze lands on the heart-shaped lips that are looking so pink. Does he use some kind of lip-balm, lipstick, and lip-color? His lips look so ravish able and Jonghyun swears that if Kibum were a girl, he would have asked him out in a heartbeat. Kibum also has pale skin that looks so bright under the dim light in this old library.

Oh gosh. Maybe he is reading too much books already!

 

 

 

 

 

 

Another week passes and Jonghyun learns that Kibum is a year younger than him. Kibum is still on his first year while Jonghyun is on his second year. The funny thing is: Kibum still doesn’t know that he is the second Prince of this country. Maybe because he is so blank for his entire life that he pays no attention to everything around him.

He also knows that Kibum takes the normal classes rather than special classes for noble and aristocratic. When he asks why, Kibum just mumbles the answer silently, not keeping his eyes away from the book he is reading, “No reason.”

Jonghyun silently pouts to himself at the simple answer and decides not to talk about it again. Maybe that is the reason why he never sees Kibum on the corridor and hallway on the third floor of the school.

The school they are attending is separating the classes with three levels. The first level on the third floor is for people with the high noble. The second level on the second floor is for people with standard noble and the third level on the first floor is for people with low noble.

Jonghyun can see that Kibum is indeed the high class noble from the way he dresses up and the way he talks. But why is he attending the low class level?

The sound of something ringing breaks Jonghyun out from his trance. He can see the way Kibum moves uncomfortably at the sound of his ringing phone and Jonghyun quickly throws him an apologetic smile. He hastily pulls out his phone and excuses himself between the shelves to answer the call.

“Yeah, hyung?”

_“Jjong, where are you? Why can’t I find you nowadays?”_

Jonghyun chuckles at his brother’s statement. Well, yeah, that is true. Once his classes are over, Jonghyun tells his guards to wait for his call to pick him up and tells them not to follow him around. He is too excited to read those nice books in this library and to meet his secret friend, Kibum. Well, he thinks Kibum is his friend since they spend most of the time everyday in here. At least, Kibum is his library friend.

“I’m somewhere, hyung.”

_“Jonghyun, tell me right now. Do you know how worried I am when I see your guards come back with an empty car?”_

“I’m fine, hyung. Don’t worry about it.”

_“Jonghyun, I swear to God if you don’t tell me right now, I’m going to send all of the guards to search for you to the entire South Korea.”_

“Hyung! Don’t do that! Fine, fine, I’ll tell you! Geez...”

_“So, where are you now?”_

“I’m still at school.”

_“School? Why can’t I find you then?”_

“You see, across the school building? There is an old library. I’m there.”

_“Which building?”_

“Besides the cherry blossom trees.”

_“Ah, I see it! You are there? What are you doing?”_

“Yeah. Just reading some random books.”

_“Alright. Don’t even move a single inch. I’m so going to get you.”_

“Hyung, don’t—Aish, he ends the call.”

Jonghyun shrugs and walks back to the reading place, only to find Kibum is still on the very same position. He silently chuckles to himself and takes his previous seat to continue reading his book.

Silence is filling the room before suddenly they can hear the sound of the heavy wooden door is being pushed open. Kibum glances at Jonghyun and he can see the puppy boy is grinning at him.

“Jonghyun? You there?” comes the sound from the front. Jonghyun nods and basically slaps his own head when he realizes that his brother can’t see him. “Yeah, I’m here, hyung!”

The sounds of footsteps are echoing against the wooden floor. Kibum squints his eyes at the hallway to see who is coming. “Jonghyun-ssi, do you know who is comi—”

The person greets from behind the shelf and smiles when he sees his younger brother is grinning at him. “Jonghyun, finally I find you!”

Kibum gulps down his saliva but his face remains blank. He can’t think properly as he is growing nervous. He quickly scrambles onto his feet and throws his book on the chair, only to bow deeply at the newcomer.

“Jonghyun, who’s that?” asks the newcomer. Jonghyun grins but suddenly he face-palms himself. He forgets that Kibum doesn’t know he is a Prince. Now how should he explain things to him?

“Hyung... he is my friend, Kibum. Umm, Kibum... this is my brother. You... You should have known him already... right?”

Kibum remains silent as he doesn’t dare to lift his head. There, standing in front of him, is the Crown Prince of this country, Jinki.

“Hey, it’s okay. Lift you head. I’m not that scary,” jokes the Crown Prince. Kibum closes his eyes tightly as he is too scared to move. How will he spend the rest of his life knowing that he has been ignoring the second Prince’s questions for the whole two weeks?

“Jjong, tell your friend to act normal. We are not mad at him or anything, right?”

“Yeah. Kibum, it’s fine. Don’t act like that. You make me feel uncomfortable.”

Kibum shakes his head slightly, keeping his eyes closed. He hears the soft sigh from the Crown Prince before his heavy voice speaks to him with authority, “Lift you head. This is an order.”

Kibum gulps his saliva before doing so. He stares down at the floor, watching his shoes fidgetting under his feet. He can see a pair of legs is making its way towards him and he holds his breathe when he realizes that they are Crown Prince’s legs.

“Jonghyun, you don’t tell him anything?”

Jonghyun scratches his not so itchy head in guilt before mumbling a ‘no’. The Crown Prince sighs at his younger brother’s stupidity and he takes the responsibility to explain everything to the boy.

“Jonghyun here, is my brother, means that he is the second Prince of this country. I’m terribly sorry that he has to lie to you.”

Kibum shakes his head no and manages to let out his stuttering voice, “T-That is my fault, Your Highness! I-I can’t recognize him!”

The Crown Prince—Jinki—places his hand on the boy’s shoulder and smiles weakly.

“That is not your fault. This stupid here, my brother should I say, has just gotten back from America a few weeks ago and he is spending time here without telling me. I’m glad that you can accompany him and I’m sure he makes some problems?”

“N-No, Your Highness!”

“Hyung, stop embarrassing me, will you? Umm, Kibum, I’m sorry about that. You don’t realize that I’m... a Prince and I’m happy with the fact that you treat me like a normal person. Don’t take it too serious, okay? This is my fault, so... yeah.”

Kibum remains silent and he gasps silently when he feels hands are holding onto each side of his face. He is greeted by the smiling face of the Crown Prince.

“Hey, look at us! We are not going to hurt you or anything. Okay?”

Kibum manages to nod his head slowly before letting himself being pushed down gently onto the seat he has previously sat on. The Crown Prince moves around the room to explore it while occasionally letting out a ‘wow’ and ‘hey’ and ‘oh’.

“I have never known that there’s this library here after attending this school for three years!”

“You are boring, hyung. You should have explored this world in an adventure like me!” says Jonghyun in excitement. Jinki snickers at his statement before walking back to where they are sitting.

“I’m glad I tell my guards to stay away from me for a while. This is a nice place. How can you find this, Jjong?”

Jonghyun grins before shrugging his shoulder.

“I was running from my guards. Seriously, they are following me everywhere! And when I was hiding, I accidentally found this place and this little friend!”

Jinki chuckles at the way Jonghyun addresses his friend.

“We are trying to stop you from doing anything stupid.”

Kibum, who is silently observing the situation, suddenly braves himself to speak out.

“U-Umm... This might not be my place to speak... But I just want to question something, Your Highness... Should I leave?”

Jinki and Jonghyun glance at each other before the oldest boy walks towards him. He takes a seat in front of Kibum and smiles.

“Why should you leave? You do nothing wrong. And please, stop calling me like that. You make me sound so old.”

Kibum stares at him from under his eyelashes before stuttering, “T-Then, how should I call you... Your Highness?”

Jinki taps his chin and hums. “Let’s see... You can just call me ‘hyung’ since I’m sure that I’m older than you.”

“H-Hyung?”

“Yes! Call me Jinki hyung!”

“Am I allowed to do that?” asks Kibum in a small voice. Jinki nods with a shining smile that can make you melt just by looking at it.

“Try it!”

“...j-jinki hyung...”

“That’s good! It sounds nice coming from you! When it comes from Jonghyun, it doesn’t sound that nice... I wonder why...”

“Hyung!” growls Jonghyun and the older brother laughs. Kibum lets out a small smile at the interaction between the two brothers and he frowns when he sees the Crown Prince stops laughing when he smiles.

“Did I do something wrong?” asks Kibum.

Jinki shakes his head before smiling, “You smile!”

Jonghyun, who is sitting at the end of the chair far from them, quickly scrambles from his place and practically runs towards them. He almost trips on the stack of thick books when he arrives beside his brother.

“Kibum, you smile?!”

“Yes! Oh, Jjong, you should have seen his smile! It is so pretty!”

Jonghyun gaps at the sentence and stares at the boy.

“Why do you smile in front of the person you have just met in ten minutes and not to me who you have met for weeks?!”

Jinki laughs while slapping his brother’s back. “Serve you right, Jjong!”

“Hyung! Oi, Kibum, this is not fair! Smile again! Come on!”

Kibum remains silent and takes his book to continue reading. When he hears the bickering of two brothers in front of him, he silently pulls the book higher to cover his small smile.

 

 

 


	2. 002

Time passes by and Kibum realizes that it has been a month since he finds out that his reading friend is a Prince. Ever since that time, he is accompanied by the two Princes of the country in the old library, reading and chatting about many particular things as they spend their time together.

Kibum feels better with those two who are respecting him as a normal person and not as a low level person. It’s new. He hasn’t felt this way for so long. He actually becomes more comfortable with those two, especially with the Crown Prince—Jinki. He is so sweet and friendly, just like a very good older brother who everyone wants to have, not to mention he can make him smile more than three times in a day. But, he also enjoys being with the second Prince who is talking more like a young man instead of a Prince. It just shows how bright his personality is and Kibum is secretly grateful for that.

 

 

 

 

 

 

“Hyung, can you stop making those awful jokes? They are so not funny.” Jonghyun grumbles with a grimace on his face.

Jinki hyung smiles teasingly, before he glances at Kibum.

“At least my jokes make Kibum smiles. Right, Kibum?”

Kibumnods his head, his face remains blank just as usual. Jonghyun groans in annoyance at the mention of that.

“Argh! I still haven’t seen you smile even for once! Why are you doing this to me, Kibum? Why? Do you do this on purpose because you want to tease me?” Jonghyun asks, overacting while throwing his hands up in the air.

Kibum shrugs as an answer and Jinki pats him on his shoulder proudly, as if telling him he is doing the right thing. It makes him sends a short nod to the oldest boy, sending the Crown Prince into a round of satisfying laughter.

The library goes silent once again after the loud laugh from Jinki stops. Kibum continues to read his book like it is the most interesting thing in the whole world until Jinki breaks the nice silence.

“Say, Kibum,”

“Yes, Jinki hyung?”

The oldest boy smiles at him while scooting closer to him, “Why are you attending the low classes?”

Kibum stops reading at once and darts his eyes away from the Crown Prince, not wanting to make any eye contact. Should he answer this? Or avoid it again?

“I... just want to be normal.” Kibum admits in a soft voice, the sound no louder than a whisper.

Jinki frowns at his answer and it also makes Jonghyun curious to death.

“Why?” Jinki asks again and Kibum simply shrugs.

“I want to be a usual person.”

“I know your parents. They came from high class noble and they were nice people.” Jinki says firmly, stating the fact that yes, he knows Kibum’s deceased parents.

Kibum flinches silently at the mention of his parents and he shakes his head slightly, wordlessly showing them that he doesn’t want to talk about it anymore. Jinki sends him a quick apologetic smile before caressing the youngest boy’s smooth hair.

“I’m sorry.” He breathes out an apology.

“No, don’t be, Jinki hyung. It is nothing.” Kibum says then nods his head to reassure the Crown Prince that it is really nothing to be sorry about.

Jonghyun frowns at the sight and at the answers that Kibum gives. There is something off from his answer. He is hiding something and it is clearly not just nothing. It is not his place to ask because it seems really important and personal to Kibum. Jonghyun is very curious. What is it?

 

 

 

 

***

 

 

 

 

The whole royal family go frantic since the both of the Princes are going nowhere with no guards with them. The King tells all of the guards to search for them and take them home in safety. Of course both the Princes do not know anything.

The guards go around the whole school to search for them. Every place has been checked and no sign of the Crown Prince or the second Prince. There is only one place left though. The old library.

And once the guards are breaking into the library, Kibum freezes into a stone, stilling rigidly on his seat. Does he do some crime to be surrounded by so many guards?

“What are you doing here?” Jinki asks calmly while standing up from his seat, closing the book he is reading with one hand.

The head guard steps forward and answers to his question after he bows to him.

“We are told to bring you back, Princes.”

Jonghyun growls at the sudden interruption and barks at the guards, feeling irritation and anger climbing up to his head.

“Geez! Can’t any of you give me a break for a moment?!” He barks.

“Jonghyun,” the Crown Prince warns the younger with a glare. Jonghyun scoffs and suddenly he remembers Kibum’s presence beside him.

“Kibum,”

The said boy bends his head down to avoid eye contact with the royals.

“Y-You should go back, Your Highness. The King must be worried with the both of you.”He mutters under his breath.

Jinki and Jonghyun stare at him apologetically before they tell the guards to wait outside. Once the wooden door of the library is closed again, the room is silent again.

“So... we are sorry about that.” The Crown Prince says softly.

Kibum shakes his head no and bows deeply to show his respect.

“This is the right thing, Your Highness. This is what that should have been done from the beginning. You shouldn’t stay with a low person like me. You have the country to lead.” Kibum states, eyes still locked onto his messy sneakers.

Jinki sighs desperately before nodding his head.  There is no place for him to make Kibum stop acting like this now. Maybe he can try later when he is calm enough.

“Once again, we are very sorry, Kibum. Lets’s see each other again later. Come on, Jonghyun.” Jinki calls softly after he gives a gentle squeeze on Kibum’s shoulder.

Jonghyun sees the still bowing boy and he bites down his own lip, feeling guilty for dragging him down into this kind of situation. He slowly takes a step further away, silently moving to follow his older brother and he throws a last glance to Kibum before closing the door behind him.

 

 

 

 

 

 

The guards are making a ruckus and chaotic situation with their sudden appearance at the old school building and it makes all the students go there as well to see and find out about what is going on.

Jinki warns everyone to not enter the said place. No one would dare to do that since it is the Crown Prince’s direct order. One by one, the royal cars are leaving the school and same with the students who are walking away after the black shiny cars are out of their sight.

Kibum sighs as he stares at the sight of the now messy library. Oh, his favorite place. His hiding place is now being found by everyone. What should he do now?

 

 

 

 

***

 

 

 

 

Jonghyun sighs loudly after he slams the door to his bedroom behind his back. Everything gets so screwed up by the guards. He can hear Jinki is arguing with their father outside but he can care less. He believes Jinki can take care of it.

He rubs his face with his palms in annoyance and he frowns when he realizes that he hasn’t properly apologized to Kibum.

“Damn it.” He hisses silently, feeling like an idiot.

The door of his bedroom is knocked by someone.

“Come in,” he says into the pillow, his voice goes muffled. His personal adviser, that rigid old man, is stepping into his room with a soft cough.

Jonghyun groans at his appearance.

“What do you want?” He asks the old man with a harsh tone but it sends no effect to the man.

The old adviser bows slightly, “I hear about you being in the abandoned building together with the Crown Prince, Your Highness.”

“So what? You are going to lecture me about it as well?” Jonghyun barks at him.

The old man says nothing to answer his question and instead, he throws another one, “Do you mind to tell me about it, Your Highness?”

Jonghyun sits up straight on his bed and sighs. Might as well tell someone.

“There is a boy,” he starts ever so slowly, “he is a high class noble from the way he acts and speaks, but he attends the low class one. I don’t know what he is thinking but he doesn’t know that I’m a Prince when we first meet. Just when he sees Jinki hyung, does he just realize that I’m a Prince as well.”

The adviser nods his head and sighs.

“I don’t think it is the fact, Your Highness.” He says firmly.

Jonghyun furrows his eyebrows at the sentence.

“What do you mean with that?”

“In my intuition, he is just another gold digger, not very different from the usual.”

“How dare you say that?” Jonghyun asks with raised voice. How dare he talks about Kibum in that way.

The adviser bows at him before continuing, “There is no way someone can’t recognize you, Your Highness. I mean, you are this country’s Prince. He must be wants to be your friend in order to get more advantage in the future.”

Jonghyun feels his mind wavers.

“But he is closer to Jinki hyung rather than me!”

“Yes, that is the real proof now. Your Highness Jinki is the Crown Prince, he is the one who will inherit the throne, that’s why that boy is getting closer to him rather than to you, Your Highness. He can get more advantage for himself if Your Highness Jinki believes him.”

“Are you saying this for real?” Jonghyun asks breathlessly as he feels his heart beats so quick that it starts to hurt.

The adviser bows, “From my experience of dealing with this kind of thing in so many years... then yes, Your Highness.”

Jonghyun stares up at the ceiling and frowns.

“You can go now.”He orders and the adviser walks out from his room after giving him a bow.

Jonghyun sighs and rolls over on his stomach, burying his face into the bed sheet. The words from the adviser keeps echoing and repeating in his ears, like a broken tape and it makes no help to his curious and wavering mind.

_There’s no way Kibum will act that sly, right? I mean, he looks so innocent and... broken._

_But he has so many secrets._

_Everyone has secrets of their own._

_But he is closer to Jinki rather than him. There must be something behind that move. He must have a motive by doing that._

_Ah, I don’t know anymore!_

 

 

 

 

***

 

 

 

 

On the next morning, the school is crowded with the students who are waiting for the arrival of the Princes. The gate is surrounded by a lot of people and when the royal cars are coming closer, the students are screaming onto their dear life. The guards quickly push them over and hold them so the cars can drive pass them.

Kibum stands at the far away, far from the gate, and far from the students. He silently stares at the black car which is bringing the Princes—Jinki hyung and Jonghyun-ssi—into the school. The guard opens the car door and Jinki hyung steps out from the car, an awkward smile is visible on his face as he sees the crowd of students and the screaming girls.

_Maybe he doesn’t like to be welcomed like this_ —Kibum thinks as he takes note of how Jinki hyung seems so uncomfortable to be given this chaotic welcome in the school.

The other door of the car is opened as well and Jonghyun-ssi is stepping out. His face is rigid and he has no smile at all on his face. The girls are screaming at him, calling him ‘Prince Jonghyun’ continuously but he ignores them. It is like he is blocking them away.

_Should I smile to them?_ Kibum ponders in his mind. It is not like they are going to find where he is standing right now but at least he can be prepared when their eyes might meet.

Both the Princes are getting closer to the spot where he is standing right now as they walk with the protection of the guards and Kibum can see how Jonghyun-ssi is walking straight with his head up; Jinki hyung is walking slightly behind him and keeps smiling to the crowds screaming for them.

When Jonghyun-ssi’s eyes are darted towards where be is standing, Kibum tries to let out a smile but his face won’t form a smile. It is so hard. His muscles won’t move a single inch at all. So instead he lifts his palm lowly to show him his gratitude and hopes it can be a form of greeting.

Jonghyun-ssi stares at him coldly and before he darts his gaze away, completely ignoring him. Kibum freezes on his spot as shock hits him like a train of trucks. He doesn’t think Jonghyun-ssi will be so cold towards him and he can feel his body shakes in an unknown feeling. It’s weird because he should have been used to be treated like dirt but this is clearly what is happening to him right now. He is staring at nowhere when Jonghyun-ssi walks pass him like he is nothing.

His palm slowly falls down to his side and Kibum gulps down the saliva which is stuck in his throat. His eyes dart from here to there, practically everywhere, not realizing that Jinki hyung is smiling to him, but stops when he realizes that his brother is ignoring Kibum and the other boy is also acting so strange.

Jinki hyung stares at Kibum for a while and he sees him running away towards the backyard of the school. He throws his gaze on his younger brother and frowns. What is wrong with Jonghyun?

 

 

 

 

 

 

Once he has arrived at the back of the school, Kibum takes a deep breath and grips onto the fabric of his sweater. He can feel the hard thumps of his heart. There is this sour feeling in him that makes him feel so uncomfortable just by thinking about it.

_This is okay, Kibum. This is how it should have been from the very beginning. You are not allowed to make a relationship with people. You are not worth it_ —he chants in his head.

“I’m alone... and will always be alone.” His voice whispers to stop the weird feeling and surprisingly, it doesn’t work like it used to be. It leaves him with a bitter feeling.

 

 

 

 

***

 

 

 

 

Time moves too fast for Kibum’s liking. He hasn’t heard anything about the Princes yet he knows it isn’t his place to want to know it. He is living his loneliness just like usual, until one day, the Crown Prince comes to him.

“Kibum?” The usually familiar voice calls and Kibum stands up from his seat after putting his book aside.

“Jinki hyu—I mean, Your Highness?” He breathes out in surprise because he doesn’t expect him to come to him moreover to talk to him.

“Kibum, what have I told you about calling me?”Jinki says with a warm smile while closing the door of the old library behind his back.

Kibum shifts from one foot to another. “I don’t think I’m at the right place to call you like that, Your Highness...”

Jinki sighs and walks over to him. He ruffles the younger boy’s hair gently and Kibum keeps his gaze straight to the floor.

“You are growing shy again with me, Kibum.”

“W-What makes you come to a place like this, Your Highness?” Kibum questions out.

“I told you to call me ‘hyung’, didn’t I? I thought I’m clear about saying it is an order.”The Crown Prince says sternly.

Kibum lifts his head and stares into those smiling eyes. “J-Jinki hyung...”

“It isn’t that hard to call me hyung, right? Why are you so hard-headed?” The Crown Prince’s gaze softens as he teases him and Kibum manages to let out a smile.

“See? I make you smile again and Jonghyun hasn’t seen it up until now.”

At the mention of the other’s name, Kibum glances away and Jinki hyung surely realized it.

“What’s wrong with you and my brother?” Jinki asks the question which has been bugging him for weeks.

Kibum shakes his head. “There is nothing wrong, Jinki hyung.”

“Why is Jonghyun acting that way?”

“He is supposed to act that way to me. I realize it.” Kibum says with a soft voice.

Jinki feels like hitting this kid on his head for being so gloomy and insecure like this but he is too adorable to him to be hit. He has no heart to hurt any adorable being.

“Do not say like that, Kibum. You make me feel bad about Jonghyun’s act.” He points it out.

Kibum shakes his head. “Don’t be, Jinki hyung. That’s not your fault nor Jonghyun-ssi’s fault. It is just me.”

Jinki sighs and caresses the boy’s head.

“Anyway, how are you these days? I’m sorry we can’t come here like usual...”

Kibum gives him a short nod, “I’m fine, Jinki hyung. I’m just like usual.”

“If you want to talk about something, you can talk to me, okay?” Jinki tells him gently and Kibum nods his head, feeling a bit thankful that Jinki acts so friendly and gentle to him just like before.

“Oh, by the way, do you have time tomorrow?” Jinki asks, sending him a smile.

“Tomorrow?” Kibum asks back, blinking.

As the Crown Prince nods his head, Kibum answers him with, “Yes, I have, Jinki hyung. Why is it?”

Jinki smiles at him.

“The King is throwing a party to celebrate Jonghyun’s come back from America. I know this is late, sometimes I don’t really get the way my father thinks but he insists to throw a party about it. Can you come?”

Kibum fidgets around as he takes a step back in a form of self defense, “I-I don’t think...”

“Kibum, do not say that it is not your place to come. I invite you here so consider about it, will you?” Jinki cuts him off before he will speak nonsense again.

After a very long time of considering, Kibum hesitantly nods his head and yelps silently when Jinki hyung hugs him.

“I’m sorry, Kibum. I’m very sorry.” Jinki mutters against the side of his head.

“Why are you apologizing, Jinki hyung?” Kibum asks with his voice muffled against the Crown Prince’s expensive coat.

“For everything. I just... Sorry.” Jinki mutters in a sincere tone of apology.

Kibum shakes his head to silently tell him that he has nothing to be sorry about and he slowly closes his eyes, enjoying the warmth from the older boy.

_When was the last time someone had hug me?_ —Kibum thinks.

The hug lasts for a while before Jinki hyung leans back. He holds onto Kibum’s face with both of his hands, staring straight into those feline eyes. He smiles and caresses the soft hair of Kibum.

“Will you consider about the party?”

Kibum nods and pulls a tiny smile. Jinki chuckles and pinches Kibum’s nose gently.

“You are so adorable, do you know that?” He mutters as he gives him the last pat on his head.

Jinki then walks away from the library after saying goodbye to Kibum. Once the door is closed, Kibum sighs, letting out the breath from his lungs. He rubs his face with his palms and slides down to the chair behind him.

Everything is just too complicated for his lonely self. It is just... way too complicated. He doesn’t ask for this.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two months for another update, I've been busy doing my essays and being sick lately. I've just sneezed three times as I write down this author note. XD
> 
> Hope to read your thought about this chapter. ^^ Thanks for reading!


	3. 003

The party takes place at one of the restaurant that the royal family owns. Kibum takes a deep breath before entering the place. He is stopped by two guards at the front door, asking who he is and when they check his name in the guests list, he is allowed to enter.

Kibum takes his time to explore the prestigious place and stares at the various people from the high class noble. What is he doing here? Maybe he should just head out to the door and—

“Kibum!” calls Jinki hyung’s voice. Kibum turns on his heels and greets him with a polite bow.

“I’m glad that you come here, Kibum! Let’s get inside! The party is about to start!”

Kibum wants to argue but he knows he would never be able to win over the older boy. They enter the place where the party is held and Kibum can see the famous people of the country. The ministers, the advisers, the ambassadors, and even idols of the country are there.

“Jinki hyung,” calls Kibum silently.

“Yes?” The Crown Prince waits for his next word.

“Do you think...Jonghyun-ssi would like to see me here?”

Jinki stops on his track and stares into the younger boy’s eyes.

“Stop looking at yourself in such a low profile, Kibum. He would be happy with your presence here. I hope so...” answers Jinki and the last part is mumbled softly in order for Kibum not to hear that.

Kibum sighs and slowly nods his head. “Alright...”

Jinki apologetically leaves him alone since he has to greet the other guests. Kibum stands by himself at the corner of the room and he runs his eyes randomly to here and there. He really feels out of the place here. Maybe coming here is really a bad idea.

 

 

 

 

***

 

 

 

 

Yes, it is indeed a bad idea. Kibum frowns from the moment his and Jonghyun-ssi’s eyes met. Jonghyun-ssi seems to ignore him very well and Kibum realizes it. Something is wrong and that something is him.

Kibum can see how happy Jonghyun-ssi— _ah, no, I can’t call him Jonghyun-ssi anymore_ —Your Highness Jonghyun is talking with high class people. Kibum feels so small there. He doesn’t feel like eating or drinking or doing any other thing since he is so out of place. He can feel Jinki hyung is staring at him in worry, giving him concerned stares as if asking whether he is fine, and Kibum shakes his head lightly at him to not make him any worried. Sometimes he feels Your Highness Jonghyun’s eyes are on him but he doesn’t dare to stare back at him.

Kibum knows he has no presence in people’s eyes so it is not that bad since the beginning. Once the party is over, people are standing up from the seat and walking towards the royal family to shake hands with them. Kibum sends a quick sad smile to Jinki hyung before slipping out from the door.

Coming here is indeed a very, very bad idea.

Jinki bites his lips as he sees Kibum walks out alone. He excuses himself and runs after the lonely boy. The young second Prince watches it all from the corner of his eyes.

 

 

 

 

***

 

 

 

 

“Kibum!”

The said boy turns around when he hears his name is being called.

“Jinki hyung? What are you doing out here?”

Panting, the oldest boy smiles at him. “I’m bored there. Where are you going?”

“I’m heading back home. You shouldn’t be here, Jinki hyung. What if people see you here?”

“I can just cover myself with this,” says Jinki while covering his head with a hoodie of the coat he is bringing with him. Kibum stares at him and is about to talk when Jinki beats him by talking first. “Can I go with you?”

“With me? To my house?” asks Kibum. Jinki nods with a smile.

“...are you sure? It’s not the right place for a Crown Prince to come so—”

“Kibum!” warns Jinki sternly. Kibum bites down his lower lip and mouths a ‘sorry’.

Jinki shakes his hand to wave it off before he says, “Let’s go!”

Kibum smiles a bit before directing the way to his house, with the oldest boy walking beside him. They talk about a few random things until Kibum announces that they have arrived.

There’s a look of amazement on the Crown Prince’s face. “You live here?” asks the Crown Prince.

“Yes...” Kibum shyly answers.

“It’s surely big! You live here alone?”

“...basically yes. Not before, though.”

Jinki freezes and lightly hits his own mouth at the mention of the sensitive topic. They walk pass the front door and Jinki sees a small round aquarium filled with water only without any fish in it. He frowns but decides to ignore it.

“Do you want to eat something, Jinki hyung? I can make you something.”

“How do you know that I’m hungry?” asks Jinki hyung while licking his lips in anticipation.

Kibum lets out a tiny smile and goes to the fridge. “Your face tells me that you are hungry from greeting too many guests. What do you want to eat, Jinki hyung?”

“Do you have chicken?” asks the Crown Prince with bright eyes.

Kibum shakes his head no before saying, “We can order it. The chicken shop is not that far away from here.” And he takes his phone to make a call.

While he is making an order, Jinki looks around the house and he spots a few photo frames on the wall. He walks closer and he smiles when he sees little Kibum who was smiling happily towards the camera. He bets the woman who was hugging little Kibum must be his mother. And then there is another photo of teenage Kibum with an older man which he was sure Kibum’s father.

There is also a photo of a little kid, hugging Kibum by his waist and the small kid was practically half-hidden behind Kibum. Jinki frowns when he sees the kid. He seems familiar but he doesn’t really remember who it is. Maybe just his feeling.

“Make yourself at home, Jinki hyung. The chicken will be here in ten minutes.”

“Okay!”

Kibum goes into a room which Jinki thinks is his room. Jinki can feel the once-nice atmosphere in this house. But now it just feels so dull. Dull without colors. No wonder Kibum feels so lonely. He feels sorry for him.

Kibum walks out from the said room after changing his clothes into some comfortable sweater and pants. He sits on the couch and calls Jinki hyung to sit with him. They watch some random shows once Kibum switches on the television, while randomly giving out comments about the show.

The bell rings and Kibum stands up while mumbling, “It must be the chicken man...”

Jinki bursts out in a chuckle after hearing the sentence is out from Kibum’s mouth. Chicken man... This kid has a humor sense in him before he turns into this dull person.

“Jinki hyung, let’s eat.” Kibum comes back to the living room, holding a box of chickens.

With a wide smile, Jinki takes a drumstick from the chicken box and munches on it happily. He misses the sight of Kibum’s wide smile as he is eating gratefully. They eat in silent, only the voices from the television as the background noises echoing in the living room.

“It has been a while...” starts Kibum and Jinki stops chewing onto the chicken.

“Huh?”

Kibum repeats with, “It has been a while... since the last time I ate with someone... Bring back so many memories...” He says softly, staring at the piece of chicken in between his fingers.

Jinki stops eating and swallows on the remaining food in his mouth. “Kibum... do you want to talk about it?”

Kibum looks down on his lap and remains silent. After a while, he decides to nod his head.

“I hope my story is not boring.”

Jinki waits patiently as he sees Kibum closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. The clock is ticking its time and Kibum feels the sound is so loud that it starts to make him deaf.

“I... My parents passed away in an accident and I was left alone in this house. I thought I could make it; being alone by myself in the near future because I could feel my parents were still here with me. But I couldn’t.” He starts out softly, slowly going a bit louder as second passes.

He takes another deep breath and Jinki hyung decides to scoot closer to him. He carefully puts his hand on the younger boy’s shoulder, rubbing some comforting circles on his shoulder.

“I was left alone and I thought I could make it... since I still had my best friend with me before. I kept telling myself that I would live like usual as long as he is with me. But, then something happened and it changed everything. He—my best friend—had to leave as well, so that he could be together with the one he loved the most. I tried to keep him to stay here with me but what could I do? I couldn’t hold him up and forbid him from getting his happiness, right?”

“I see... Then, what happened?” asks Jinki hyung when he thinks it is right for him to talk. Kibum stares down on his intertwined fingers and lets out a tiny sad smile.

“He left. They left. They were not allowed to be together and in the end they had to leave on their own just to be with each other. I’m happy for them but I’m breaking as well. Ever since that time, I know that there is no forever. Relationship would not last until forever.”

“Is that... why you close yourself like this?” Jinki asks carefully.

Kibum silently hums as an answer and closes his eyes. “My parents left me. My best friend left me. Even my favorite fishes died and left me alone. I’m always left alone and would always be alone...”

Jinki hyung ponders over in his mind and he remembers the sight of the empty aquarium before. It hurts his heart to hear the younger boy talks about his life. They remain in silent and Jinki hyung lifts his head in shock when he feels water drops on his hand.

Kibum is crying.

“K-Kibum...”

“I’m alone... I’m always alone...” mumbles Kibum softly as he lets the tears roll down his cheeks.

Jinki hyung gently brings the weeping boy close to him and lets him cries against his shoulder. He takes a deep breath as he listens to the silent cry that Kibum lets out. Never has he thought this quiet boy would have such a hard life.

He rubs his hand up and down on the younger boy’s upper arm to calm him down. Kibum doesn’t let any sound out from him yet his tears seem can’t be controlled.

After a while, he calms down a little and lets out some silent hiccups. Jinki hyung smiles at his adorableness and wipes the remaining tears with his thumbs.

“I think I’m one lucky guy,” starts Jinki hyung to break the silence. Kibum looks up at him with his usual blank face, not getting what Jinki hyung means.

Jinki hyung smiles at him before explaining, “I got the first chance to see you smile and now I see you cry as well.” And he grins.

Kibum remains silent before he slowly breaks into a small grin.

“And now I get to make you grin!”

Kibum just smiles at him before pulling back from the comforting embrace.

“I... Thank you so much, Jinki hyung. It has been a while since I talked to someone about this and now I feel better. I appreciate your company so much.”

Jinki hyung waves his hand at the sentence. “Don’t mention it! It is nothing! I’m glad I can accompany you here.”

Kibum lets out another tiny smile before slowly taking the older boy into another gentle hug.

“Thank you so much. You mean a lot to me, Jinki hyung.”

“You mean a lot to me, too, Kibum. Just call me if you want to talk. I’ll hear you out.”

Kibum hums and releases him. “It’s late, Jinkihyung. Don’t you think you should go back home now?”

“I think so. Then, take care of yourself, Kibum. I’ll see you around soon! And thanks for the chicken!”

Kibum smiles while taking him to the front door. They wave for one more time before Kibum walks back into his house. He closes the door behind his back and leans against the wooden door. He lets a soft sigh escapes his lips before a small smile creeps onto his lips.

 

 

 

 

***

 

 

 

 

“Hyung,” calls the second Prince when he sees his older brother is entering the house.

“Oh, hey, Jjong.” Jinki greets, a bit distracted as he takes off his coat.

“Where were you?”

“I was with Kibum.”

The younger boy furrows his eyebrows before crossing his arms in front of his chest.

“What do you think you are doing, hyung?” Jonghyun asks silently, a look of annoyance and curiosity across his face.

Jinki hyung glances questioningly at him. “What do you mean?”

“Why are hanging out with a boy like him? Aren’t you afraid that your reputation will be screwed up and tainted because of him?”

Jinki’s face goes rigid and he makes his way towards his brother. “I don’t get what you mean with those words, Jonghyun.”

“He is not in our level. He is attending the low level classes and do you forget that we are the Princes of this country? People are looking up at us and we don’t need gold diggers trying to woo us.” Jonghyun repeats what his advisors had told him before.

The Crown Prince steps closer to him, practically staring at him with fire in his eyes.

“I do remember that I’m the Crown Prince, but I don’t go around talking about someone with those low words,” snaps Jinki.

The younger brother is taken aback at the feedback thrown to him. He parts his mouth and tries to talk back but there is no word he can come up with.

“We may be Princes, Jonghyun,” Jinki hyung says again, “But you should remember that we are still humans. That’s my friend that you are insulting with those cruel words and I won’t stay still when I hear you say something rude about him.”

“H-Hyung—”

“I thought we are friends with him. What happened with you, Jonghyun? You changed and I don’t feel like you are like my brother, moreover to hold over the status of a Prince.”

Jinki walks pass him and Jonghyun stands still on his spot, not moving a single muscle.

The Crown Prince stops on his track and continues to talk without even glancing at his younger brother and keeping his back to him.

“You know nothing about him, Jonghyun.” He says with silent voice, “I’m so disappointed of you. You know nothing about his life, you know nothing about how to make him smile, and you know nothing about what would make him cry. I do know everything about those things and I’m going to tell you that I like him. I like him so much, even more than as a friend.”

And with that, Jinki walks away from there to enter his room, leaving Jonghyun to silently understand about every single thing he had just told him.

His brother—the Crown Prince—falls for Kim Kibum.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Merry Christmas! ^^ Another update for you guys! I really spoil you, don't I? Heheh, hope you enjoy this chapter. Comments will be very much appreciated and will make me very happy!


	4. 004

Jonghyun trashes around on his bed. The quarrel with the older boy just now is still echoing in his brain. Does he really see Kibum from the wrong way? Sure, he is the one who started to enter the young boy’s life without knowing every single thing about him. But Jonghyun is still a kid and he knows nothing about world. His brother has more experiences about life and he knows which one is good and which one is bad.

The next day, Jonghyun decided to ride his own respective car to school since he doesn’t want to be in the same car with his brother whom he just has a quarrel with. He drives his own car, mind still filled with every thought of the young boy—Kibum—yet he doesn’t know what to believe.

The classes go up like usual and Jonghyun won’t be surprised to not seeing Kibum on the third floor since he remembered that he takes the low noble level for his classes. He also doesn’t get to see his brother that often that day since he knows Jinki must be avoiding him as well. Not like he wants to see him this fast though.

But when Jonghyun goes down from the third floor, he has made up his decision. If his brother is siding with Kibum, now he would like to see whether Kibum is worth it. If he finds out that Kibum is nothing but like the greedy people around them, who wants nothing but for money only, then he would like his brother to turn back to the right path.

He steps down from the third floor and his eyes accidentally find where Kibum is walking that time. He locks his eyes on the sight of Kibum’s hunched back and watches how that boy is acting in his usual life.

He knows that Kibum gets no presence and people ignored him. But when he sees how people are rudely pushing him around like he is some kind of invisible thing makes Jonghyun goes up in rage. In the crowd, he can see how those rude girls are pushing each other teasingly, seemingly not aware of Kibum who gets to be the victim of them, dropping down to the ground, and how Kibum lands with his palms against the rocky ground. That must be hurt. Those girls don’t seem to realize that they cause someone to fall.

Kibum stands up by himself and Jonghyun can see how red his palms are. Kibum seems like to ignore the pain and just dusts the dirt from his palms on his pants. He then walks away again and Jonghyun quickly steps up his pace to not losing his tracks. He can see some boys on the front gate who are playing random pushing and one of them has their elbow hitting Kibum, on his arm, who happens to be walking beside them. They don’t seem to realize it and Kibum doesn’t seem to mind it.

Jonghyun winces at the thought about how hurt it is.

He watches how Kibum walks by himself, alone, along the path under the trees. He knows that Kibum is always alone but he doesn’t think he will be this lonely. It stirs some strings in his chest and resulting an uncomfortable feeling.

The wind suddenly blows and Jonghyun realizes how Kibum seems to forget to wear his glove. His pale skin gets paler when the coldness of the wind hits him. He sees how Kibum will rub his palms against each other to keep himself warm before stuffing his hands into the pockets of his thin coat. Jonghyun has a sudden urge to walk there and put his own coat over the fragile boy in order to make him stay warm.

Jonghyun shakes his head from the thought. He is here not to do things like that. He is here for observation. He will not be deceived by some simple things until he really finds out whether Kibum is worth his time or not. He darts his eyes back towards Kibum who has now stopped by the side of the alley which leads to the dirty place where people with no money are living their life. What is Kibum doing there?

He sees how Kibum stops in the middle of the empty road, reaching backwards into his bag and pulls out a medium-sized paper bag. Kibum then begins to walk towards the direction of people who is lying down on the dirty cement ground. He pulls out a small plastic from the paper bag and gives it to them. They smile brightly despite the dirty appearance that they have on their face and Jonghyun can see how they keep saying ‘thank you’ before ripping open the small plastic that Kibum has just given to them. It is bread.

Those homeless people send Kibum wide smiles as they get the bread and more foods from the boy. Jonghyun frowns. He is a Prince, this country’s Prince, yet he doesn’t know that there are so many homeless people in his country. He fights with his own mind about this thing and he finds no answer to his unknown question.

Kibum stops in front of a group of kids who then come to hug his legs. Those kids are calling his name like they love him so much and Kibum slowly scoots down to their eye level. He watches Kibum reaches a hand forward and thumbs the dirt away from one of kids’ face, cleaning him tenderly.

The kids crowd around him, blabbering words and stories to him, while Kibum nods his head to every single one of them. He can’t understand what those kids are talking about but seeing from their face, it seems like they are telling Kibum about how much they miss him whenever he is not here.

Jonghyun can’t help but to think and wonder. What is Kibum doing here and when did he start doing this charity? This is some kind of charity, right? There’s no way Kibum would be friends with those homeless people. 

Kibum stands up, waving by to the kids and they thank him again for coming and for the food. Jonghyun steps back to hide behind the wall and keeps his eyes on the sight of Kibum’s back as he walks out of the place.

 

 

 

 

 

Jonghyun keeps ten steps away from Kibum.

When Kibum steps forward with his right foot, Jonghyun follows.

When Kibum steps forward with his left foot, Jonghyun does the same.

Funny; because even by not doing anything, Kibum manages to intrigue him.

Amazing; because even with Kibum not staring at him, he could still feel as if Kibum is aware of his presence.

Shocked; because Jonghyun is left confused and dumbfounded.

Kibum is one weird but intriguing person. He left Jonghyun wondering on what he is feeling right now.

At one side, it feels wrong because Kibum might be a high class liar and that he is fake.

But at the other side, it feels right because when Jonghyun locks his eyes at the mere sight of Kibum, he feels this warmth fluttering in his chest. There are many more right than the wrong whenever he as much as remembers about Kibum.

Jonghyun ponders over the moment he first met Kibum. It was when he was panting after his run, he found Kibum sitting on one of the rusty wooden chairs, reading a book gracefully with a slight lighting.

Then he remembers about the time he spent chatting together with Kibum. The boy might not show any expression on his face, but Jonghyun remembers every single detail of his gestures. When Kibum is happy, his fingers fidget. When Kibum is sad, his fingers curl. When Kibum is upset, his hands tensed. When Kibum is surprised, his toes curl up in his shoes.

Cute. Adorable. Refreshing. Jonghyun can’t help but to take notes on every little detail that is Kibum.

Just like now; when Kibum is walking ten steps away in front of him. His fluffy hair, his frail arms, his long legs; everything is intriguing.

Jonghyun feels a small smile curls on his lips when Kibum stops in front of a pet shop to greet the puppy pawing at the glass.

It’s pretty. It’s beautiful.

 

 

 

 

 

Kibum walks into the cemetery ground and Jonghyun stops by the gate. 

Cemetery? Why would Kibum come here? Could it be…?

He watches as Kibum kneels down in front of two identical stones and gives his bow. He says nothing. He trails his fingers over the writing on the stones while dusting the dried leaves away. Then he stands in front of it, just staring and not talking.

It takes a while before Kibum gives another bow before he leaves the cemetery.

Jonghyun walks closer to look at the stone and he gives a respective bow to Kibum’s parents.

 

 

 

 

 

Kibum walks away again and Jonghyun follows after him, ten steps away.

This time, it’s a hill. A grassy hill where you can see the whole city under your feet with the breeze blowing gently to ruffle your hair.

Jonghyun watches as Kibum stands by the edge of the hill, watching the busy city and the twinkle of city lights in the orange evening. Kibum lifts a hand up; opening his palm to feel the breeze tickles his hand.

 

 

Ten steps away from Kibum and Jonghyun feels like he has never seen a more beautiful sight than this.

 

 

Kibum’s house is enormously big for someone who is living alone. Jonghyun watches as Kibum unlocks the door and goes inside, closing the door behind his back. The light is switched on in a few seconds and he can see the shadow of Kibum walking away from the window.

Jonghyun spins on his heels and walks away.

 

 

 

As he walks back, Jonghyun wonders where things have gone wrong.

With his hands deep in his coat, he walks back home, with his head spins from confusion, amazement, and affection.

And everything relates back to Kibum.

 

 

 

***

 

 

 

“Surprise!” Jinki hyung says as soon as Kibum opens the knocked door.

“Hyung, what can I help you with?”

Jinki hyung smiles while welcoming himself inside. He lifts two bags of food and puts them down onto the dining table.

“I want to eat with someone else. It’s boring to eat alone in an empty dining room. I need someone I can talk to while munching onto these dumplings!”

Kibum feels a tiny smile curls up on his lips as he pads away to the cabinet to take out plates and chopsticks. Jinki hyung grins at his attempt to cheer the boy up.

The chopsticks clink against the plate and spoons dip into the wonton soup. 

Kibum hums softly at the taste of the delicious food on his tongue and Jinki hyung puts more dumplings into his plate.

It’s a simple meal yet Kibum can’t wish for a better one. This is perfect.

“Thank you, Jinki hyung.”

The older boy smiles at him.

 

 

 

***

 

 

 

A bark.

That’s what Kibum hears when he has just finished taking a bath at this Sunday morning.

With a confused tilt of his head, Kibum walks towards the window to see what the commotion just outside of his house is. There is a white dog barking in front of his gate, weakly pawing at the gate, then letting out a whine.

Kibum blinks his eyes.

As soon as he opens the door, the dog paws the gate in excitement upon seeing him. Kibum walks towards the gate and unlocks it, only to have the dog snuggling against his calf. The dog acts as if it knows Kibum.

He gets down onto his knees, hesitantly reaching forward to ruffle the dog. It whines softly then leans into his touch.

Kibum smiles. The dog acts so familiar with him.

A soft laugh bubbles out of his mouth when the dog makes a gesture of playing with him.

 

 

“Fluffy!”

 

 

There’s a voice calling and the dog spins around to walk out of the gate, barking towards the person running closer.

Kibum stands up and locks his gaze onto the running person.

It feels like every single memory comes back into his head. It feels like every single scene is repeating itself in front of his eyes.

 

 

 

The person stops on his track as he finds Kibum is staring at him. No one says anything, save for their ragged breathing.

The same hair color, the same eyes, the same nose, the same lips, the same face.

A broken sob breaks out of Kibum’s mouth before he has an armful of person crushing into his arms.

“Hyung,” the person chokes, crying into his shoulder.

Kibum laughs in between his crying, hugging the person back as tight as possible, because God knows how long he has longed to be doing this.

Tears are rolling down and choked words are spoken incoherently. 

Kibum nods to every single word, patting the person’s back gently to ease him into breathing because he has been choking on his tears. He himself is no better than this.  


In between the whispers and chokes of his name, Kibum nods with a smile. He leans back to wipe the fat tears away from the person’s face, thumbing his cheeks gently.  


Words of apologies come spilling out, along with the mentions of ‘I miss you’.

Kibum nods his head, smiling to him gently.

 

“It’s okay. I miss you, too, Taemin.”

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One more chapter left! Hehe, hope you enjoy this chapter. Comments will be very much appreciated and will make me very happy! Thanks for reading!


	5. 005

_“Kibum hyung, what would you do if you are not allowed to do something?”_

_“Not do it, of course.”_

_“But what if that thing will make you very happy?”_

_“What is it?”_

_“What if you love someone but you can’t be with them?”_

_“Taemin,”_

_“I love him but I can’t be with him. Should I give up or should I fight for it?”_

_“Follow your heart, Taemin. Listen to what you want the most.”_

_“I want to be with him.”_

_“Then go. You have your answer.”_

_“But what about you?”_

_“I’m fine. I would be fine. Your happiness is more important.”_

_“Hyung, I will come back.”_

_“Be happy, Taemin. Live your life.”_

 

 

 

 

 

“Are you happy now?” Kibum asks, voice cracking as he wipes the tears away.

Taemin nods his head, smiling so wide. “I’m happy. And now happier that I meet you again.”

“How are you doing? Is he treating you right?”

“Yes. Minho has been very good to me. We are going strong even after so many years.”

Kibum smiles. “That’s good to hear. It means that everything is worth it.”

Taemin’s smile drops from his face as he looks around. “Hyung, what happened to you? What happened here? Why is this so dull?”

He looks around the dull house, the one which used to look so bright and colorful, and frowns upon seeing so much dust on some photo frames and drawers. Kibum lets out a bitter smile.

“I don’t care. At least you are here. Are you back for good or…?”

Taemin grins. “Yes. My father has finally given up and has allowed me to be with Minho! We don’t have to hide anymore! I’m so tired of running here and there, but just by looking at Minho, I realize that this is the sacrifice I need to do. I love him though, so I can do anything.”

Kibum nods, patting his head. “You have grown into such a fine young man. I can’t see you grow up.”

Taemin hugs him tightly. “I’m sorry. But my father was so bad. He wouldn’t let me be with Minho just because I’m the son of the Prime Minister. I wanted to have my own happy ending. You do know that, hyung.”

“I know, I know.” 

“How have you been for the past years, hyung? Are you doing fine?”

Kibum smiles sadly. “I’m not.”

Taemin leans back. “Hyung…”

“I feel so lonely, Taemin. I don’t have anyone to talk to. I’m always alone. I miss you.”

“I’m sorry, hyung. What could I do to make it up for you?”

“Just be happy and stay with me. That’s enough.” Kibum smiles.

“Okay.”

 

 

 

 

 

Kibum stares at his reflection on the mirror. He is smiling. He has a smile on his face. Oh my God… he is smiling!

“Hyung? You take too long there? Are you okay?” Taemin knocks onto the door and Kibum yelps.

Oh God. He yelps!

“I-I’m fine!”

He stutters!

Kibum finds himself smiling again. He can’t understand how just a mere presence of Taemin back here with him is enough to trigger his old self back. Kibum can’t really believe his eyes. It’s all thanks to Taemin! 

Well, it’s silly now that Kibum thinks about it. After his parents’ death, he built a thin wall around himself; a wall that only Taemin could break. But then after Taemin was gone, a thick wall was built to save himself from heartbreak. Does that mean he is just lonely? He is just… in need of someone else?

But then he met Jinki hyung and Jonghyun-ssi… they managed to make some cracks on his wall and Kibum wondered what that meant. Jinki hyung made him smiled and grinned and cried. That one passed the test. 

“Hyung! Come out now!” Taemin nags, the dog’s bark follows after his voice.

Kibum smiles again.

“I’m coming!”

 

 

 

 

 

The door is knocked and Kibum stops playing tickle with Taemin and Fluffy. Who is it?

“Hey, Kibum!”

“Hello, Jinki hyung.” Kibum smiles and ushers him inside. The Crown Prince blinks at his sudden smile before he regains himself back.

“You seem in a good mood, Kibum? What’s happening?” Jinki hyung teases and Kibum feels his face is hurting because he is smiling again. For no reason.

“I’m fine. I just got an unexpected visitor.” Kibum says. Jinki hyung looks at him. “Is it me?” He asks playfully.

Footsteps coming closer and Kibum hears Taemin’s voice of “Who is it?”

The Crown Prince looks up, gaping in shock. Taemin is no different from him. Kibum watches them with interest.

“What?” He asks.

“Oh my God… Are you… You are Taemin, right?” The Crown Prince whispers in disbelief.

Taemin bows politely. “It has been a very long time, Crown Prince.”

Kibum blinks.

“Where have you been? The whole family has been looking for you for so long!” Jinki hyung mutters.

Taemin smiles sheepishly. “I have been around. Sorry about that.”

“Can someone please explain to me?” Kibum murmurs, a small pout forming on his lips.

Jinki hyung gasps. “Kibum! You have a pout!”

Taemin looks confused. “He pouts a lot. What’s wrong with that?”

If today’s not ‘surprising Jinki day’ then the Crown Prince doesn’t know what it is.

 

 

 

 

 

“So, you are telling me you ran away from house because you were in a relationship with a boy from a standard noble?” Jinki hyung asks.

Taemin gives him an affirmation nod.

“And you were the long lost best friend of Kibum?”

Another nod.

“And now you are back because Uncle has granted you his approval to be with whoever that boy?”

The third nod.

“Oh, my head hurts,” Jinki hyung says, massaging his temple.

 

 

“So, you are saying that you are cousins and your fathers are brothers?” Kibum asks.

The both of them nod.

“And the whole royal family has been looking for him for so long?”

Nod.

“My head hurts.” Kibum winces.

 

 

“Who’s your lover boy’s name again?”

“It’s Minho!”

“He is handsome.” Jinki hyung says as he stares at the picture in the phone display. Taemin grins.

“Of course! I choose the best!”

 

 

 

 

Once Taemin is back home, Jinki hyung stays behind to talk a bit with him. They take a walk around the park.

“Hey, Kibum?”

“Yes?”

“You look happier. Is it because of Taemin?”

Kibum has a small smile. “Yes. I get my best friend back.”

“But how? I mean… I don’t mean bad but… he is just another friend for you. How could he affect your life so much?”

Kibum fiddles with his fingers. “He was the only friend I had ever had. Taemin knows me like the back of his hand. When my parents passed away, he was the only one standing by my side and hugging me while I cried. It may sound simple to other people but he has such a special spot in my heart. He was the first person who understood me so well. And when he was gone, I felt like no other person could understand me.”

Jinki hyung hums, staring at him. “You are a good boy, Kibum. Don’t let your negative thoughts get the better of your self.”

Kibum sends him a thankful smile. “Thank you, hyung. I will try.”

The royal nods his head. Kibum talks again, “You are the second person who could understand me so well so I treasure you, Jinki hyung.”

Jinki hyung’s eyes widen in surprise. “Is that so? You make me so happy, Kibum!”

Kibum laughs and he stops walking. He tugs onto the Crown Prince’s sleeve.

“Hyung, can I hug you?”

Jinki hyung looks surprised at the request but he smiles and he opens his arms. “Come here, you big boy.”

Kibum smiles and hugs the older boy around his waist, nuzzling into his shoulder. Jinki hyung laughs softly when the boy chuckles.

“You big boy. I wish you happiness for the rest of your life. I don’t want to see you being sad and closing yourself up again. We are here for you; Taemin, me, and even Jonghyun, even though he has not come back to his sense yet. But he will come around, I’m sure.”

Kibum nods against his shoulder. “Thank you so much, Jinki hyung, for understanding me so well.”

Jinki hyung laughs. “I’m the hyung here, right? I should be able to, of course.”

“I wish Jonghyun-ssi would be able to forgive me.” Kibum mutters lowly and Jinki hyung feels his smile drops off of his face. He brings a hand up to pat the boy’s head.

“He is having a hard time. Please wait, he will come back soon. He is just… confused with himself. You can wait, right, Kibum?”

“Yes.” Kibum whispers. Of course, he can wait for Jonghyun-ssi to come back and start everything over again. He might not say this but he misses Jonghyun-ssi. He was the first one to talk to him and be his friend in the old library and even though he didn’t admit it, Kibum liked his company more than anyone else.

“Good boy.”

 

 

 

 

 

Jonghyun grips onto his fists as he watches his brother hugs Kibum. There is a piercing pain in his chest and he doesn’t understand what kind of feeling is this. He should be happy that his brother can hug someone he likes, but why would he feel so hard to breathe? It feels like he is jealous and it feels like his brother is taking it away from him. What is it; he doesn’t know.

With dejected heart, Jonghyun walks back home.

His first intention was to apologize to Kibum. After a long thought and two sleepless nights, Jonghyun had come up to a conclusion that Kibum did nothing. He did nothing for Jonghyun to hate him. The boy was just simply being himself. He was not a gold digger. He was not planning anything wicked.

He was just Kibum.

And Jonghyun had doubted him. Oh, he feels so bad.

So with a chocolate bar in his pocket, Jonghyun went to come to Kibum’s house to beg for forgiveness. He just didn’t expect to find his brother and Kibum to walk around the park while talking and smiling.

Kibum smiles. This is the first time for Jonghyun to see such scene. And he admits that he is very beautiful. His smile is refreshing and the corners of his lips curl up. It’s cute. He is cute.

Jonghyun wonders whether he should make his appearance announced but when he sees Kibum steps forward to hug his brother, he feels his heart crumbles down into pieces. He can’t see anything other than his blurred sight. Why blurred; it might be because of his tears.

He doesn’t cry. The second Prince of the country doesn’t cry. He just doesn’t know what makes him cry today, as it’s only a sight of Kibum and his older brother hugging. Does it really break his heart to see that? Yes.

Does that mean he loses his chance to apologize? Yes. Maybe.

Jonghyun hangs his head low and walks away from the park. His chest is thumping so hard against his ribcage. He doesn’t understand how his heart could hurt so bad like this. Everything is his fault. He shouldn’t have doubted Kibum like that.

 

 

 

 

 

As he walks along the empty street, Jonghyun ponders.

What makes him so sad? What makes him so broken hearted? What makes him so mad?

Is he jealous? Yes.

Does he want to be in his brother’s place? Yes.

But why would he feel that? Why would he feel so sad over the fact that his brother and Kibum shared a friendly hug? They don’t even kiss or anything—

Wait. What? No! He won’t let them kiss! No way! It’s Jonghyun who is allowed to kiss—

What?!

 

Jonghyun stops on his track. His feet stay frozen onto the ground.

Why would he feel jealous over the friendly hug his brother shared with Kibum? Why would he get mad? Why would he think about he is the only one who is allowed to kiss Kibum? What right he has over Kibum to even think that way?

Does that mean he—

“…like Kibum.” Jonghyun mutters softly.

Yeah. That might be right.

He likes Kibum. I mean, who doesn’t? 

But, wait. Those who like Kibum are not allowed to kiss him! It’s only Jonghyun! Only reserved to Jonghyun!

 

“What?”

 

He likes Kibum. Yes, he likes Kibum, more than a friend, and more romantically. He is sad because he saw Kibum hugged his brother. He wants to be in his brother’s place. He is angry because he saw Kibum hugged his brother. He wants to be in his brother’s place. He is jealous because he saw Kibum hugged his brother. He wants to be in his brother’s place.

He likes Kibum.

 

“Oh my God. I like Kibum. Yes, I like Kibum!”

 

He smiles like a crazed person, eyes wide in shock at the revelation in his brain but surprisingly he doesn’t hate the fact. He likes Kibum, so what?

He likes his flat face. He likes his short answers. He likes his hidden smiles. He likes his pretty fingers. He likes his unique eyes. He likes his button like nose. He likes his bow shaped lips. He likes Kibum, he likes his everything.

“Oh no!” Jonghyun exclaims, spinning on his heels before running back to the direction he had just left from. He can’t be late. 

 

 

 

 

 

By the time he arrives back at the park, no trace of Kibum or his brother there and Jonghyun hisses silently. He runs back to Kibum’s house, hoping, praying that he could meet him.

It’s Jonghyun’s lucky day; because Kibum is there. He is sitting by the porch of his house, staring up at the starless night sky. No trace of Jinki hyung there and Jonghyun pants as he stops in front of the gate.

Kibum seems to notice his presence as the boy glances back down. There’s a surprised look in his eyes that Jonghyun has never seen before.

“Jonghyun-ssi?”

“Kibum, can we talk?” He says, panting.

The boy stands up from the porch and walks towards the gate, opening it to let him in. Jonghyun gulps his saliva to soothe his dry throat and as he stares into Kibum’s eyes, he seems to realize how long he has been avoiding this sweet boy. 

“Do you need something, Jonghyun-ssi?”

“First,” Jonghyun says, “stop calling me that. It makes me feel like I’m just a stranger to you. Call me Jonghyun. Just Jonghyun.”

Kibum nods his head slowly. “Okay. Jonghyun.”

Oh, he shivers. It sounds so nice to hear his name coming from Kibum’s mouth without any honorific. 

“The second is… I want to apologize.” He bends his head down, fists gripped tightly on his sides.

“Jonghyun?” Kibum calls confusedly, because why would he apologize?

“I… I once had a bad thought about you.” Jonghyun admits, gripping onto his pants. “I once thought that you meant bad for me, for us. It’s not the first time people got close to us with a bad motive and to take advantage of our status. So I was just being cautious.”

Kibum says nothing and Jonghyun takes that as a cue to continue.

“I just… I just didn’t know what to think. I just realized that you meant no harm to me, Kibum. I’m sorry, because I put all the blame on you when everything was because of my wicked brain not wanting to trust you and your true intention. I want you to know that I’m sorry for avoiding you and ignoring you. And also… I kind of followed you that other day. I just wanted to make sure about my feelings and to straighten up my thought.”

“Jonghyun,”

“I-I come to a conclusion that I like you, Kibum! I’m not lying! I like you a lot! Not just… not just friends like, but, but like- uh, I want to have you in my arms, to hug you, to hold your hand, to k-kiss you, that kind of like!”

Kibum takes a step forward, “Jonghyun –”

“I really like you but I’m so confused and I put all the blame on you! Oh my God, I’m the worst!”

“Jonghyun, please –”

“This might sound really selfish but I hope you don’t choose my brother! I want… I want you to choose me! So help me Kibum, I like you so much but I’m so confused! Help me! Help me, Kibum, I really need your help to make sure that I still have the chance and –”

 

 

_“Kibummie, you have to keep helping people, okay? So then no one would feel left alone in this cold world. No one should feel lonely, because we love each other. Hold their hands and hug them, Kibummie. Show them that they are not alone.”_

 

 

Kibum’s eyes widen. He remembers. He remembers what his mother once told him. So many years had passed and no matter how hard he tried to remember it, he couldn’t find the answer.

Now that Jonghyun is asking for help, for his answer, Kibum does what his mother told him.

He holds onto Jonghyun’s hand and he hugs him.

 

 

Jonghyun stops blabbering, his breathe hitching when Kibum hugs him.

“It’s okay, Jonghyun. It’s okay.” Kibum whispers to him, caressing his head. Jonghyun is too shocked to even think.

“It’s okay. I like you, too. More than everyone.” Kibum admits, hugging him a bit tighter than he had ever done to anyone else.

Jonghyun closes his eyes and hugs his back.

“You do?”

“I do.”

“More than you like Jinki hyung?”

Kibum smiles. “More than him.”

“Do you have the same kind of like with mine?”

“Yes, I do.”

“You want to have me in my arms like I do?”

“Yes. I do have you in my arms.” Kibum smiles.

“You want to hug me like I do?”

“Yes. I’m hugging you though.”

“You want to hold my hand?”

“I just did.”

“You want to kiss me?”

Kibum blinks before he breaks into a soft laugh. Jonghyun leans back, amazed to hear the melodic voice coming from the stoic boy. Is it a miraculous day? He saw Kibum smiled, hugged him, and now he laughed.

“Yes, I do.” Kibum says after his laugh. Jonghyun is staring at him with twinkling eyes.

Kibum smiles up, cupping onto the Prince’s face and he leans closer to give him the softest kiss on his lips. Jonghyun hiccups in shock and Kibum stares at him with an amused smile.

“Did you just kiss me?”

“Yes, I just did.” Kibum says softly, thumbing his frozen cheeks.

Jonghyun’s shocked face slowly breaks into a wide grin.

“You like me.”

“Yes.”

“More than you like Jinki hyung.”

“Yes, yes.”

“And you just kissed me.”

“Mmh.”

“Can I kiss you again?”

“Mmh- what?”

Jonghyun pecks his parted lips gently, making Kibum blinks his eyes in surprise. There is a faint blush covering his cheeks and Jonghyun feels giddy, so giddy that he gets to do this.

He pulls Kibum into his arms, hugging him tight and burying his face into his neck. Kibum chuckles, hugging him back just as tight.

“Jonghyun?”

“Yeah?”

“I have always liked you more though.”

“Really?”

“Yes, so you don’t have to worry about anything. I’m with you though.”

Jonghyun hugs him tight and despite the cold night, no one feels the freezing temperature. A warm hug is enough to soothe a person’s pain.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And this is the end of this mini-story. It's kinda an open ending, so I will leave it to your imagination. This is what I had planned and written since 2014 (the first time this story was created) so I'm sorry if some of you don't like it. I'm not a good writer though so I hope you could take it into consideration. ^_^
> 
> A new story coming up soon! I also hope you would read it but it's okay if you don't ^^
> 
> Comments will be very much appreciated and will make me very happy! Thanks for reading all the chapters and for the upvotes and the comments! I'm very happy! See you in another story of mine! <3

**Author's Note:**

> I wonder how you guys think about this one, because this has been postponed for two years so please spare the mistakes, I write so childishly years ago. XD  
> Hope to read your thought about this chapter. ^^ Thanks for reading!


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